


Coming Home

by jongyued



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M, Werewolf AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 00:04:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jongyued/pseuds/jongyued
Summary: When Jonghyun fell in love Jinki, he was twelve-years-old and it was effortless. The hard part is waiting for Jinki to love him back.





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was posted on my tumblr blog, but I wanted to post it here since it's around 12k, and it's one of my favorite (and longest) things I've written. Hope you all enjoy!

Jonghyun first meets Jinki when he’s ten. He’s wet and trembling, still frightened after narrowly escaping a hunter attack on his pack. He huddles behind his mother’s leg, anxiously nosing her fur as a pair of humans approach them. His mother growls low and bares her teeth, but it’s an empty threat: she’s injured from fighting off the hunting dogs, from protecting Jonghyun and his sister, from using the last bits of strength to lead her pups away from danger.

“It’s all right,” one of them says. He’s taller and older than the human at his side, hands raised up in surrender. “We’re here to help.”

That’s when Jonghyun catches their scent – no gunpowder or blood, just the musk of the woods and the smell of fur. They’re wolves, Jonghyun realizes, just like them. He looks up at his mother, but she’s still on edge. While the Old Law says that if a lost wolf is located by kindred they must take them under their protection, not all packs follow tradition anymore. Their old pack certainly didn’t.

The older wolf introduces himself as the Alpha, and tells them they have crossed onto his pack’s lands. “Our home is only a few miles up ahead,” he says kindly. “We can give you food and shelter, and tend to your wounds.”

Finally, Jonghyun feels the tension dissolve. His mother bows her head in gratitude, falling back onto her hind legs in exhaustion.

The Alpha smiles and places his hand on the shoulder of the boy beside him. “This is my son, Jinki,” he tells them. “He’s around the age of your pups.”

The boy – Jinki – steps forward. In the moonlight, Jonghyun can see his eyes, and they’re soft and warm, almost iridescent as he helps lead Jonghyun and sister back to the house. When they reach the house, there are at least a dozen other wolves there.

His mother and sister shift back into their human forms, gratefully accepting clothes from the females in the pack. His mother urges him to shift back too, but Jonghyun shakes his head stubbornly. He feels safer in fur around all these strangers, and stays back even as his family is introduced to everyone.

He backs away from the crowd, towards the wall of the house, wanting to disappear.

But suddenly, a shadow looms over him and there’s a gentle hand on his head, fingers gently scratching behind his ears. Jonghyun blinks up in surprise. It’s Jinki, sitting down in front of him with a soft smile on his face. “Don’t worry,” he says. “You’re safe now. You’ll be safe with us. We’ll protect you.”

Jonghyun doesn’t trust easily. He’s been hurt before, by his father, their old Alpha, and now the hunters – but there’s something about Jinki that sets him at ease, enough to drop his head into Jinki’s lap and let his eyes flutter closed. Maybe it’s just exhaustion from running all night, the lingering fear of the attack, that makes him act vulnerable more than he’s used to.

Either way, Jonghyun falls asleep to Jinki’s scent.

  
  
Although the pack welcomes them warmly, everything about it is new and unfamiliar. Jonghyun continues to stay in fur for the entire first week after they arrive, sticking close to his mother and sister, who settle in far more easily than him. He’s always been shy around strangers, but Jinki manages to become the exception. 

Jinki is four years older and the eldest son of the pack’s Alpha. Jonghyun’s new family laughs and calls him Jinki’s second shadow – but Jonghyun doesn’t mind the teasing, not when Jinki doesn’t seem to be bothered by it either. He takes Jonghyun under his wing, letting Jonghyun curl up next to him when he sleeps, or follow him around the house without a single complaint. There are nights when Jonghyun wakes up from a nightmare, and Jinki is there, quietly lulling him back to sleep with the gentle sound of his voice and a warm hand stroking his head.

The two of them become close, almost inseparable. To Jonghyun, Jinki becomes his second home: warm and comfortable, a safe place of constant warmth and genuine smiles. He’s never felt this type of bond with anyone before, not even with his mother or sister.

“You know, everyone wants to get to know you,” Jinki says one night. “Especially Taemin – he’s my little brother. You’re right around his age. Don’t you want to meet your new family?”

It’s not that Jonghyun doesn’t want to, but everything is so different here. In his old pack, they were always moving, rarely settling down anywhere for more than a few weeks – but this pack has a home, a large house surrounded by acres of beautiful land and woods. Jinki had told him that all of the land belongs to them, and has been in his family for generations.

Most of the pack live in the main house, but some families live in the nearby human town, where they worked in the local businesses. They come up and visit at night or on the weekends, and during those times the house becomes warm and full of life – there are even a lot of other pups around his age to nuzzle or play-fight. Still, he finds himself sticking close to Jinki’s side. It’s where he feels the most comfortable.

One night he’s waiting for Jinki to get out of the shower when a head pops into Jinki’s room. It’s a boy around his age – someone familiar that Jonghyun’s seen around the house before, someone who hangs out around Jinki’s side almost as often as him. He looks at Jonghyun with a mix of curiosity and slight resentment.

“You’re Jonghyun, right?” he asks.

Jonghyun nods, confused.

“You’ve been hogging all of my brother’s attention, you know,” he snips. “It’s not really fair.”

Jonghyun flushes, feeling embarrassed. He’s at a loss of what to say.

“Hey, Taemin, be nice,” Jinki says as he comes out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair and frowning at his brother.

“I am being nice, hyung,” Taemin protests, pouting. “He should try playing with us. Then you could come play with us too. It’s no fun with only me and Jongin.”

Jinki turns to Jonghyun with a smile. “What do you say, Jonghyun?” he says gently. “Do you want to try making some new friends?”

Jonghyun isn’t sure but Jinki’s smile is reassuring and comforting enough that he finds himself agreeing.

Taemin becomes Jonghyun’s first friend after Jinki. From there, he meets Kibum and Minho, and all the other kids in the pack. He’s surprised at how well he gets along with them, how he’s quickly able to fit right into the group – but no matter who else he meets, Jinki is still the most special to him, Jonghyun’s favorite person in the whole house.  
  


  
  
When Jonghyun is twelve, Jinki takes him down to the river that runs along the edge of the pack’s property. It’s a pretty little spot, open from the trees so there’s a clear view of the sky. The moon is bright tonight, casting a silver shimmer over the treetops.

“I like coming here,” Jinki tells him. “It’s nice to get some peace and quiet every once and awhile.”

Jonghyun nods in understanding. As much as he loves his family, there are times when he just wants to be alone. The house is always rumbling with members of the pack shuffling in and out for their jobs in town or on the property, filled with chatter from the pups or the others just lounging around in the common rooms. There’s never really much space for just himself.

Jinki settles on the grass and falls onto his back. Jonghyun joins him, laying down beside Jinki so they’re staring up at the night sky together. He can hear the crickets chirping in the silence between them, but it’s comfortable.

“My mom used to bring me down here. Taemin too, but he was too little to remember it now,” Jinki says. “We used to look at the stars together and she would tell us all of the old stories.”

Jonghyun has never heard Jinki talk about his mother, or heard anyone else in the pack speak about her either. All Jonghyun knew is that she was gone, left the pack a few years before Jonghyun and his family came. Part of Jonghyun wondered if it’s forbidden to talk about – but Jinki’s casual mention of her makes him think otherwise.

Jonghyun turns onto his side, facing Jinki with curious eyes. “What kind of stories?”

“The stories about the First Wolves. The old legends of how our kind came to be – you’ve heard of them too, right?”

Jonghyun shakes his head. He’s never thought about how they came to be what they are, they always just were. He’s never known anything else.

Jinki turns to him in surprise. “Really?” he says. “I thought we all grew up listening to those stories.”

“I think our pack was a little different,” Jonghyun admits. He always feels a slightly embarrassed when he thinks of his old pack, how poorly they were treated compared to how they live in Jinki’s pack now. “It’s so much nicer here – I like it better.”

Jinki smiles. “I’m glad you decided to stay,” he says. “You, your mom, and your sister. I like having you around.”

Jonghyun’s heart does an unexpected flip in his chest. He likes being around Jinki too. It’s one of the best feelings in the world to him.

“Could you tell me the stories, hyung?” Jonghyun asks. “I wanna hear them too.”

“Alright,” Jinki laughs. “But only if you promise not to tell anyone about this spot. It’s my secret place, okay?”

Jonghyun nods eagerly, suddenly feeling special – Jinki sharing his secret spot with him, listening to the stories Jinki heard from his mother, just the two of them. He watches the way Jinki’s eyes reflect the stars as he tells Jonghyun the old legends, pointing out how the constellations depict the stories of the First Wolves, how when wolves pass on in this world, their spirits join their ancestors in the night sky.

He thinks this is the night when he falls in love with Jinki.

After that, Jonghyun starts seeing Jinki differently.

It’s like his vision suddenly shifted – or maybe it’s always been like that, and he just never really noticed.

He notices everything now. The way Jinki’s eyes crinkle unevenly when he smiles, the soft tone of his voice when he speaks, how his scent is the perfect mix of the forest and cold spring rain.

When Jinki smiles at him from across the room, he feels his heart lift in his chest and when Jinki says his name, he thinks it’s the prettiest sound in the world.

But while everything seems to change for him, things seem to stay the same for Jinki.

They still take trips down to the river together, still hang-out late into the night that Jonghyun falls asleep in Jinki’s bed – but Jinki still ruffles his hair with a smile. Warmly. Gently. Teasingly. Like the way he does to Taemin.

It’s nice, but it’s not what Jonghyun wants. He wants Jinki to see him differently than that – He wants to be special to Jinki like Jinki is to him.

He wants Jinki to love him too.

  
  
Jonghyun is fourteen when he gets finally gets to go on a run. He dances around on his paws in excitement. Going on a run is a right of passage, to feel the light of the full moon on his back and the fast thrum of the wind in his ears. Jinki’s been running for years already, and it finally feels like Jonghyun is catching up to him.

He feels a soft nudge from behind. He turns to see Sodam give him a toothy grin. _Will you be able to keep up with the rest of us?_ she teases.

I can! he insists just as the Alpha howls loudly, signaling the start of the run. The entire pack takes off towards the woods, the sounds of feet pounding against the grass, branches and twigs snapping beneath them.

Jinki’s father – the Alpha – runs at the front of the pack. Jinki runs behind him, managing to keep pace with the older wolves the entire time. It shows his strength, even as a young wolf, his capability to lead the pack one day, to lead the run under the full moon.

Jonghyun isn’t bad either. He’s able to run in the middle of the pack, beside his sister. At one point he sees Jinki glance back, golden eyes searching in the wolves behind him. Their gazes meet for small moment and Jinki flashes him a small grin of encouragement before turning his attention towards the front again. Jonghyun’s heart swells, picking up his pace to run a little faster, striving to be a little closer to Jinki, even if only by a few footsteps.

The run ends around a bonfire, with drinks and laughs and Taemin somehow manages to sneak beers for them, secretly drinking on the rooftop of the house with some of the other first-time runners. The adults are too distracted to notice – the full moon does things to wolves, puts them into a wild kind of mood – and he catches pairs of wolves sneaking back off into woods, kissing and touching as they disappear behind the trees. 

The sight makes him flush, but the alcohol makes his thoughts wander in the same kind of way. What would it be like to kiss Jinki under the full moon? He wishes he could try.

Jinki’s in the same spot near the edge of the bonfire where he’s been most of the night, laughing with his friends as the party slowly starts to wind down. But even Jinki’s group starts to dwindle as pairs drift off into the woods too, it makes Jonghyun feel more anxious than he likes.

He stands suddenly and Taemin gives him a curious look. “Wh’ere you goin’?” he asks in a slur of words.

“Gotta pee,” Jonghyun mumbles. He manages to climb back through the open window and down through the house and towards the dying bonfire. He almost tumbles down the front porch steps in his haste.

“Hey,” Jinki says as soon as he sees him, greeting him with a smile. “I was wondering where you ran off to. I didn’t get to congratulate you on your first run.”

“I did pretty good, right?” Jonghyun says. The words come out much more slurred than he intended and he almost trips over his own feet as he tries to stay upright.

Jinki notices immediately. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how drunk are you?”

“S’not drunk,” Jonghyun protests.

Jinki laughs. “Oh really?” he says. “So you weren’t on the roof of the house with Taemin, drinking a couple of stolen beers?”

Jonghyun blinks. “How’d you know that?”

“Who do you think Taemin learned it from?” Jinki says with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “This part is kind of a secret right of passage… Having your first bit of alcohol after your first run.” He gives Jonghyun a once over with an amused smile. “And I’m guessing you’re a bit of a lightweight.”

“Maybe,” Jonghyun mumbles, feeling mildly embarrassed. He watched Jinki drink twice as much him but he doesn’t look red-faced or unsteady on his feet at all. It makes him feel like a kid again.

“You should probably get to bed,” Jinki tells him, holding up his hand when Jonghyun opens his mouth in protest. “Drink any more and you’ll feel even worse in the morning. Then your mom will know exactly what you got up to tonight.”

Jinki’s logic makes sense. But he doesn’t want to go. There’s a couple of girls still lingering behind Jinki, waiting almost expectantly for him finish up with Jonghyun so they can have his attention again. Jonghyun doesn’t want to leave Jinki alone with them.

“I’m s‘kay, hyung, really,” Jonghyun tries, but he stumbles in his effort to prove his point.

“Whoa,” Jinki says, catching him around the waist. He shakes his head fondly with a sigh. “Alright. C’mon, I’ll get you back into the house.”

He quickly turns and exchanges a few words with his friends before he grips Jonghyun a little tighter around the waist to get him back to the house. He helps Jonghyun up the steps to the porch, through the front door, and up the stairs to the second floor. He’s leading Jonghyun to his bedroom but Jonghyun drags his feet and shakes his head.

“Can I sleep with you tonight, hyung?” Jonghyun asks. “S’too cold in my room.” The window in Jonghyun’s is cracked open, letting in a cool draft at night, but Jinki’s room is always warm.

He feels Jinki’s fingers tighten around his waist, watches as Jinki’s eyes flicker. It’s not uncommon in the pack for three to four of them to sleep on the same bed, cuddled together in a warm dogpile – and it’s definitely not the first time Jonghyun’s spent the night in Jinki’s bed. But Jinki’s never taken this long to say yes to him.

“Alright,” Jinki says finally and Jonghyun is relieved.   
  
Jinki’s room is familiar, the smell of books and the crackle of wood from the fireplace. Jonghyun crawls onto the bed and flops down onto it, wiggling around until he manages to get under the blankets. He notices Jinki still standing by the door, hand on the lightswitch, ready to leave as soon as Jonghyun looks comfortable.

But he doesn’t want Jinki to go. He lifts his head up from the pillow. “Hyung, can’t you stay with me?”

Jinki stares at him for a long moment, clearly hesitating, but he finally nods. He comes over to join Jonghyun on the bed, grabbing the book sitting on the nightstand and opening it, giving Jonghyun a small smile when he catches him wiggling around to get comfortable.

The bed immediately feels warmer with Jinki in it. He pushes his face into the pillows and takes a deep breath, letting Jinki’s familiar scent to fill his nose. Usually, it would comfort him, but part of his mind can’t stop thinking of what he saw at the bonfire.

He doesn’t want to lose Jinki to anyone else. Jinki is too important to him, too special.

  
He shifts around sleepily. “Hyung?” he mumbles, burying his nose into Jinki’s side. “Will you wait for me?”

Jinki looks away from his book. “What?”

“When I come of age – when my heat finally comes – will you wait for me until then?”

He doesn’t get the chance to hear Jinki’s reply because he’s fading fast, slipping in darkness from the warmth of Jinki by his side. He thinks he feels the soft brush of Jinki’s lips against his temple, but it might only be his imagination. 

Something changes between them after that night. It’s the last time Jonghyun sleeps in Jinki’s bed. It’s not because he decided to, but because now Jinki turns him away with a small laugh, _you’ve gone on a run, you’re old enough to sleep on your own now, aren’t you?_

They don’t take nighttime trips down to Jinki’s spot by the river anymore either – Jinki is always at his father’s side now, watching and learning the responsibilities of the Alpha, practicing for the day he’ll lead and protect the pack. But even when he’s not, he never brings up going down there together anymore, and Jonghyun feels himself losing his special place by Jinki’s side.

This part is the opposite of what Jonghyun wanted from growing up. He thought it would put less distance between him and Jinki, but instead the gap seems to be growing.

He doesn’t know how to stop it.   
  


  
Jonghyun is sixteen when his first heat comes. He wakes up in a sweat, cock hard and leaking against his stomach. He’s felt arousal before, but it’s nothing like this – He feels like he’s burning from the inside out, sweating and aching for the scent and sex of an alpha. Without a mate, he’s locked into his bedroom to ride it out alone, sweating through the sheets and desperate for release.

He thinks about Jinki the entire time. He thinks about how Jinki would touch him, how his hands would feel across Jonghyun’s skin, how they’d grip Jonghyun’s hips. He wonders if Jinki would fuck him hard, or fuck him slow – maybe he’d just kiss Jonghyun and let him rut against his hip until he came.

It’s unbearable, imagining these things. He’s thought about them before, but everything is more vivid and explicit in heat. The only thing he wants is to be wrapped up in Jinki’s scent, and just the thought of it is enough to make him slick, pushing his fingers deeper and imagining it’s Jinki that’s filling him up.

It takes three days for his heat to finally come to an end.

He’s grateful to learn that Jinki has been gone while Jonghyun was in heat, busy with his father to settle a territorial dispute with a neighboring pack. Jonghyun doesn’t think he can look at Jinki right now, not with the way he had thought about him for the past three days. He didn’t want Jinki to know that the way he got through is heat was imagining how Jinki would fuck him.

Or maybe he does. Would Jinki start to take him seriously if he knew how much Jonghyun wanted him?

When Jinki finally comes home, he looks exhausted but he smiles when he sees Jonghyun. Jonghyun’s heart does a huge flip at the sight. It’s the same gentle smile he imagined in heat, the one when he’d kiss Jonghyun gently and tell him he’d been so good for him. He fights down the growing blush at the memory as Jinki walks over to him, where Jonghyun is standing in the kitchen and folding laundry on the large dining table.

“Hi hyung,” he says. “You were gone for a while.” 

“Yeah,” Jinki laughs. “I must look like crap, huh?” He runs a hand through his hair, the strands combing through his fingers.

It’s getting long, Jonghyun notices, Jinki’s hair now reaches the edge of his chin. It looks so soft, and he wonders what it would feel like to run his fingers through it too. He realizes he’s staring when Jinki fixes him with an odd look, and he quickly shifts his gaze away. But Jinki’s gaze still lingers, to the point that Jonghyun shifts uncomfortably from under it.

“What?” he mumbles.

Jinki licks his lips, tilting his head to the side as he continues to stare. “You… smell different,” he says, sounding confused.

Jonghyun’s eyes go wide. He knew Jinki would find out about his heat, but he never imagined he would have to be the one to tell him face-to-face or that Jinki would bring it up because of the change in his scent. He tries to figure out what to say, but he doesn’t get the chance – Taemin chooses that exact moment to float in from the kitchen.

“It’s cause he had his first heat~” Taemin sing-songs as he passes by, snickering. Jonghyun shoots him the meanest glare he can muster, cheeks going even more red.

Jinki blinks. “Oh,” he says. He rubs the side of his neck, his habit for when he’s thinking through his next words. “Are you… um, feeling okay?”

Jonghyun nods, still unable to look at him. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, fidgeting with the hem of a clean shirt. “Just, um… a little tired, you know?”

Jinki’s face softens. “Then you should rest,” he says. “I can help out with your chores.”

“No way,” Jonghyun says quickly. “You just got home. Besides, I’ve been cooped up in my room for three days. I don’t want to rest anymore,” he adds on stubbornly, returning to his task at hand.

Jinki laughs. “Alright, alright. I get it.” Still, he sticks around to help Jonghyun fold the huge pile of laundry.

The silence between them is comfortable with Jonghyun sneaking subtle glances at Jinki every couple of minutes. One of Jinki’s shirts is in the hamper too, warm from the dryer. Jinki’s scent is still strong on it and he rubs the fabric between his fingers, suddenly feeling a burst of confidence. 

“Hyung, do you remember my first run a couple years ago?” he asks.

Jinki nods with a laugh. “Yeah, of course. You were pretty good at keeping up with the rest of us, even though it was your first time.”

Jonghyun beams proudly. “I’ve only gotten better since then, don’t you think?” he says, distracted by the compliment.

“You’re getting faster with every run. But… you still haven’t beat me,” Jinki says with a teasing grin.

Jonghyun huffs. “I’m not trying to beat you,” he mumbles. If anything, he just wants to be fast enough so he can run at Jinki’s side, to be close to him with the moonlight on their backs – but he shakes his head. That’s another dream.

“Actually, hyung, what I meant was… After the run, you know, while everyone else was at the bonfire.” He licks his lips. “Do you remember what I asked you that night?”

Jinki tenses, hands pausing for a moment a pile of clean clothes. It’s clear that he does remember, but whether or not he’d be willing to admit it is another question entirely. “You were pretty drunk,” he says instead. “I’m surprised you remember anything.”

“But I do remember,” Jonghyun says. “You never gave me an answer.”

“I know,” Jinki says quietly.

He looks up at Jinki with hopeful eyes. “Could you… give me one now?”

Jinki says nothing for a long while, only silently continuing to fold clothes. Jonghyun watches him the entire time. Finally, Jinki turns to him with eyes that look regretful in a way that makes Jonghyun’s heart stutter in his chest.

He takes a deep breath. “Jonghyun, I…” But he doesn’t get the chance to finish. His father calls him over, motioning him to join a conversation with a group of pack members. Jinki looks mildly torn as he walks away, but Jonghyun is grateful for the interruption. From the look on Jinki’s face alone, Jonghyun knows he wouldn’t have liked the answer Jinki was planning to give him.

“Look, everyone already knows Jinki has a soft spot for you,” Kibum tells him. “You just have to make him do something about it.”

Jonghyun glances across the room, shooting a look at Jinki who is immersed in a conversation with his father and the pack elders. “Like what?”

“Well, first off, you need to stop acting like such a puppy around him.” 

Jonghyun balks at the accusation. “I do not,” he says defensively.

“So you’re not always staring at him with big wide eyes, hoping you’ll get his attention?”

Jonghyun flushes, feeling caught. He hoped no one had noticed. “Am I that obvious?”

Kibum nods, giving him a pitiful look. “It’s almost sad,” he says. “If you keep doing that, you’ll never be anything more to him than a pup with a crush.”

“Alright,” Jonghyun relents. “Then what should I do?”

“You have to make him realize that you’re an adult now,” Kibum tells him wisely.

“He should know that already,” Jonghyun mutters glumly. “He knows I’ve gone into heat. What more does he need?”

“Well, we’ll just have to be a bit more aggressive then.” Kibum gestures for Jonghyun to come closer, and Jonghyun walks forward with a confused frown. He gasps in surprise when Kibum pulls him onto his lap, tugging him close so their noses are almost touching.

“Kibum – what are you…” Jonghyun exclaims, trying to scramble up but Kibum’s firm hand on his waist keeps him in place.

“Relax, I’m not going to do anything. It’s just for show,” Kibum mumbles. He gives Jonghyun a pointed look. “C’mon, you know what wolves are like.”

It takes a few moments for Kibum’s words to sink in. Wolves are notoriously possessive, the jealous type – Maybe if Jinki saw Jonghyun with someone else, it would push him into action. It isn’t a bad plan, but Jonghyun doesn’t know if it’s the right one.

“Oh, he’s looking over,” Kibum says in triumph.

“Really?” Jonghyun whispers. His fingers press into Kibum’s shoulder in anticipation. “Is he…?” He struggles to find the right word. He tries to picture the expression on Jinki’s face – He’s not sure what he wants Jinki’s reaction to be. Does he want Jinki to be upset? Jealous? Angry?

“He looks…” He watches Kibum’s lips pull into a confused frown. “Hold on, maybe if I try…” Suddenly Kibum leans up and runs his nose along Jonghyun’s cheek, close and intimate. Jonghyun immediately squeaks, face heating from the contact and wiggling nervously.

“God, don’t be such a virgin,” Kibum quips quietly. “You’re gonna give us away.”

Jonghyun huffs. He can’t help it. He’s never been with anyone before, and he doesn’t want to be, not unless it’s with Jinki.

“Maybe we should–” Kibum trails off, frowning again. “Hey, where did he go?”

Jonghyun finally looks over his shoulder. Jinki is nowhere in sight, and the only ones looking at him are some of their friends, shooting them lopsided grins.

He immediately shuffles off of Kibum’s lap .“I have to find him,” Jonghyun says, panicked. “What if he gets the wrong idea or–”

“Idiot, you want him to get the wrong idea,” Kibum says. “If he thinks you’re going to get taken, he’ll have to make a move. Isn’t that what you want?”

It is, but what if the opposite happens instead? He feels like he doesn’t have any idea what’s running through Jinki’s head lately. He’s suddenly scared it’ll push Jinki even further away, when he already feels like he’s losing him.

Jinki isn’t anywhere in the house and all the cars are in the driveway, meaning he couldn’t have gone down into town. That only leaves one spot left.

As expected, he finds Jinki at the river, laying down on the grass and staring up the sky with his arms folded behind his head. He sits up when he hears Jonghyun’s footsteps, turning around to see Jonghyun approaching him.

“Hey,” Jonghyun says as he takes a seat next to Jinki, fixing him with a relieved smile. “It’s been a while since we’ve been here together.”

“You’re right,” Jinki says. “We’ve just gotten so busy these days.”

“You’re the busy one,” Jonghyun tells him pointedly. “I’m always around, you know.”

The smile Jinki gives him is almost apologetic. “Things have been piling up one after another,” he says. “But I miss hanging out together.”

The words makes Jonghyun’s heart leap in his chest. “Me too,” he says earnestly.

“But I’m glad you’re getting along with everyone else. Remember when you first came and you barely talked to anyone?” Jinki says with a laugh. “You’ve definitely grown out of that.” But then he clears his throat and glances at Jonghyun sidelong, almost hesitantly. “You and Kibum seem to be a lot closer than I thought,” he says mildly. “Are the two of you…?”

There’s no point in lying. Jinki will able to see right through him. “No, it’s nothing like that,” he quickly explains. “Kibum and I were just–”

“I mean, it’s alright if you are.”

Jonghyun blinks. “What?”

“You’re young,” Jinki says. “It’d make sense you’d want to… you know, explore things. I did when I was your age too.”

Jonghyun’s heart stops. There were nights when Jinki’s bedroom door was closed, but he never expected it to be because someone else was in there with him. His fingers dig into the grass, image after image of Jinki with a mysterious partner in his arms, kissing and touching them in ways Jonghyun always wished Jinki would hold him. It causes his chest to become unbearably tight.

“Do you… have someone like that now?” he asks. He’s almost too nervous to hear the answer. What if there is? What if there’s someone else that already has Jinki’s heart? What would he do then? Maybe it would be better not to know – but it’s too late, the question is already out between them, 

Jinki gives him a quick glance out of the corner of his eye. “No. I can’t, not when Dad is taking me everywhere with him. It’s not the right time.”

“So you’re… waiting?”

“I guess,” Jinki says, looking unsure if that’s the right answer to give.

“Maybe… maybe I should try waiting too,” Jonghyun says meaningfully. “You know, for the right person.”

Jinki is silent, looking contemplative as he thinks over what to say next. Jonghyun holds his breath the entire time. “I want you to be happy,” he says finally. He doesn’t say anything else and Jonghyun’s heart sinks.

  
  
Jonghyun is nineteen when Jinki’s father falls ill, and it becomes clear to the rest of the pack that they’ll have choose the next Alpha soon. All eyes turn towards Jinki. He’s been raised since childhood to be the pack’s next leader – everyone in the pack trusts him, adores him. He’s the most obvious and fitting choice.

Jinki doesn’t take his father’s illness well. He doesn’t show it, but Jonghyun can tell. It’s in the distant look in his eyes, the crease in his forehead, the quietness of his words. Rumors fly through the pack like wildfire when several members catch Jinki in the middle of the heated argument with the elders – as much as Jinki is the favorite to take over the pack, there’s suddenly some worries that the transition won’t go over as smoothly as everyone had hoped.

It makes Jinki become even quieter than usual, almost solemn as the weeks pass on. He starts to go missing at night, disappearing for several hours before returning to the house looking just as reserved as when he left, the circles under his eyes growing heavier each time.

Jonghyun wants to help, but everytime he tries Jinki is closed off and distracted. It makes him feel useless – He wants to be a source of strength to Jinki but he doesn’t know how, especially when Jinki won’t let him in.

“It’s been difficult for him,” Jinki’s father tells Jonghyun quietly. “But hopefully, when he finally chooses a mate it’ll help lighten the burden.” He places a hand on Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Until then, would you mind looking after him? I know you two have always been close.”

The words sits heavy with Jonghyun as he walks down the familiar path to the river. A mate. It’s something that would be expected of Jinki as soon as he became the Alpha but now it suddenly feels unbearably real. At that point, there would be no turning back – Jinki will have to choose him or… He doesn’t want to think of the alternative.

Jinki’s back is the first thing he sees as he approaches the clearing, and the tension in his shoulders almost visible.

“I thought I might find you here,” Jonghyun says with a smile, taking a seat next to Jinki. He notices there are a few empty beer bottles beside him too. He knows Jinki drinks alone when he needs to think, to sort out his thoughts.

Jinki returns the smile, though it’s strained at the corners. “You know me too well,” he replies before falling silent again, staring out at the river. Together, they watch the flow of the water down the stream, quiet and calming.

“Are you worried?” Jonghyun asks softly. “About becoming the Alpha?”

Jinki sighs. “I’ve always known it was going to be my future, but now that it’s actually happening… It’s a lot of responsibility to bear.”

“You can handle it, hyung,” Jonghyun says earnestly. “I know you can.”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying… but it’s not easy. I’ve seen what it did to my dad, my mom…” He takes a deep breath. “I want to make sure I do it right. That I don’t just follow what tradition says or what the pack elders think is best – I want to do it the way I think is best too. And well, the elders aren’t always too keen on those ideas.” He lets out a bitter laugh.

“You just need the right people by your side,” Jonghyun tells him. “People who will support you through everything.”

Jinki looks skeptical. “Like who?”

“You know, your friends and your family…” Jonghyun swallows, thinking back to what Jinki’s father had told him. “A mate.”

Jinki laughs shallowly. “Who would want to be my mate?”

Jonghyun rolls his eyes. “C’mon, Jinki, you can’t be blind. You have to see the way the others look at you.” He’s seen it too, the way the gazes of the unmated wolves in the pack have changed in recent months. There has always been adoration whenever anyone looked at Jinki – affection for the Alpha’s son who has never been anything but kind and hardworking – but now he sees the attraction and desire behind it too. They all know, just like Jonghyun. Jinki would be a good mate. He’s kind-hearted, beautiful, and strong – in fur and out. “And I…”

“You what?” Jinki finally turns to look at him and Jonghyun’s heart leaps into his throat. Jinki’s eyes are almost iridescent in the moonlight and he looks so beautiful Jonghyun feels like he’s floating, giving him a wave of confidence he hadn’t expected.

Their hands are only inches apart on the grass and he boldly reaches over, interlacing their fingers together. “I look at you the same way,” he says softly, lining each of his words the most sincerity he can put into them.

Jinki stares down at where their hands are touching, quiet and pensive. It’s a long moment of silence before he shakes his head and pulls his hand away with a sigh. “I wish you hadn’t said that,” he says.

Jonghyun doesn’t back down. “I mean it, Jinki, I–” But he doesn’t get the chance to finish, because then Jinki is leaning in close, cupping the side of his face and pressing their lips together.

His breath catches in his throat and his eyes fly wide in surprise – Jinki is kissing him. He can feel the heat of Jinki’s lips, breathe in the familiar musk of Jinki’s scent. They haven’t been this close in years and his head spins at how intimate it is, how right it feels. He belongs here, like this, with Jinki.

Jinki knows what he’s doing. His fingers gently tug at Jonghyun’s chin, lifting it so they can kiss at a better angle. He feels a small prickle of jealous curiosity – who got here first – but he can’t focus on it for any longer than a second, because Jinki’s thumb is stroking the curve of his cheek, and then everything else seems to move on instinct, how to tilt his head or curl his fingers into Jinki’s hair.

It’s when Jinki’s tongue slides along the seam between Jonghyun’s lips that he whimpers, causing Jinki to pull back in surprise.

“Sorry,” Jinki says quickly. He looks guilty, mildly ashamed as he stares at Jonghyun’s flushed face. He runs a shaky hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. “I didn’t – I shouldn’t have done that.”

Jonghyun shakes his head. He reaches forward and grabs Jinki’s hands, pressing Jinki’s palm to his face and nuzzling his cheek against it. “It’s all right, hyung,” he says, looking up at him between his lashes, almost pleading. “Can you kiss me again? Please?”

Jinki looks torn, but he follows when Jonghyun leads him down onto the ground with him. The grass tickles the back of his neck as he pulls Jinki on top of him, and his body heats up so fast just from the feel of it. How many times has he imagined Jinki on top of him like this? It sends his mind spinning in excitement.

They kiss again, slow and deep, Jinki’s tongue sliding past his lips. Jonghyun shivers as he follows Jinki’s lead, parting his lips wider when Jinki’s thumb presses against the corner of his mouth. Everything Jinki does feels so good, even when his lips travel down Jonghyun’s jaw to his neck.

Jinki sucks soft and slow at the skin there, but it’s the slightest scrape of teeth that sends Jonghyun towards the edge. He’s thought about it for so long – during every heat, in every fantasy where Jinki belongs to him. He wants Jinki to claim him so badly he starts to shake, holding onto Jinki tighter to keep him grounded.

“Bite me, hyung, please,” he begs, fingers curling into Jinki’s back in desperation. “Make me yours.”

Jinki stills suddenly, thrusting away from Jonghyun with surprising force. His breathing is heavy and the gold in his eyes are flaring at the surface. But then he blinks, the rings melting back into the dark depths of Jinki’s now unreadable gaze, as if they had never been there in the first place.

“We should head back,” Jinki says quietly, getting to his feet.

Jonghyun stares up at him, blinking fast as he tries to gather himself. Just a second ago, Jinki was kissing him, and now it’s like it never even happened. “Hyung, I…”

“Everyone’s probably wondering where we are,” Jinki says, this time more firmly. “Let’s go home.”

The tone of his voice leaves no room for argument. Jinki only waits moment longer for Jonghyun to stand before taking off ahead of him, putting a long stretch of distance between them.

The walk back to the house is silent. Jinki doesn’t look at Jonghyun the entire time, even when he says goodnight before shutting the door to his bedroom. Jonghyun stares at the closed door for a long time, feeling lost and heartbroken.

He’s teary-eyed when he goes into his sister’s room, crawling into her bed and burying his head in her lap. She doesn’t say anything, just strokes his hair gently and waits for his tears to slowly end.

“Broken heart?” she asks softly.

Jonghyun nods with a quiet sniffle. It’s all he needs to say, because she’s known about Jonghyun’s love for Jinki for years, even if he had never said anything about it out loud.

“It’s okay,” she soothes. “It’ll get better. You’ll move on.”

He finds little comfort in her words. He wants things to get better, but he doesn’t want to move on. He doesn’t want to get over Jinki. “But I love him,” he hiccups and the tears start all over again, trailing down his cheeks until he manages to fall asleep in the comfort of Sodam’s warm embrace. 

  
  
Autumn arrives and Jinki becomes the new Alpha. It’s a decision that the entire pack agrees upon without question, and Jonghyun watches as the ceremonial rites are performed under the full moon, formally initiating Jinki as the pack’s leader.

Jinki leads the run this time, sprinting at the front of the pack. Jonghyun is able to keep close, running just behind to see the moonlight streaming down on Jinki’s back. Even though the two of them are almost running together, Jonghyun still feels incredibly lonely.

His emotions are all over the place. He feels proud – he knows Jinki will lead the pack well, the honor of being the Alpha deserved to belong to Jinki – but he’s still reeling from the night at the river. There’s an even bigger distance between them than before, and it hurts.

Jinki has been avoiding him since their kiss. He can’t even confront Jinki about it, not when he’s constantly surrounded by members of the pack that need his attention. There’s always something – an issue in town, disputes with neighboring packs, arguments that Jinki needs to mediate.

He finally manages to get Jinki alone one night, when the rest of the pack is asleep and they’re the only two awake in the entire house. It’s the first time they’ve been alone together since the night at the river, and tension becomes almost palpable when Jinki realizes Jonghyun is there too. The crackle of the fireplace is the only sound in room, the flames reflecting brightly in Jinki’s dark eyes.

“It’s late, Jonghyun,” Jinki says. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I was waiting for you,” Jonghyun says.

Jinki arches a brow at him. “Why?”

“I need to talk to you,” Jonghyun says. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.”

“I’ve been busy, Jonghyun,” Jinki says. The light, casual tone of his voice – as if he’s talking to a child – makes Jonghyun’s temper quickly rush up to the surface.

“Are you just going to pretend like it never happened?” Jonghyun demands. “You kissed me, Jinki.”

Jinki turns away quickly, looking ashamed. “I shouldn’t have done that,” he says. “It was a mistake.”

Jonghyun’s heart clenches with hurt but in his anger he pushes past it. “It wasn’t a mistake to me,” he says fiercely. “You can’t act like you don’t know how I feel about you. Not anymore.” He takes a confident step closer, forcing himself directly into Jinki’s line of vision. “And I know you feel something for me too.”

Jinki runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “Enough, Jonghyun,” he snaps. “I already have enough going on right now – I can’t deal with you too.”

Jonghyun balks at the rejection, the angry tone in Jinki’s voice. He’s never felt like a burden to Jinki, never felt like an annoyance. He suddenly feels small, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.

“Why don’t you want me?” he asks softly. “Am I not enough?”

Jinki finally looks him, torn between wanting to comfort Jonghyun but not knowing how. “No, Jonghyun, it’s not…” He sighs. “It’s not about what I want, Jonghyun. It’s about what you want.”

Jonghyun steps closer, gaze firm. “I want you, Jinki. You’re all I ever wanted,” he says. “Don’t you feel something – anything for me at all?”

“You know that I do,” Jinki says. “I’ve always treasured you. You’ve always been special to me.”

The words are sincere, but they aren’t the ones Jonghyun wants to hear. “No! Not like that – not like a little brother or a little kid! It’s never been like that for me.” He reaches out, hands curling into Jinki’s sides almost desperately. “Jinki, you mean more to me than anyone else.”

Jinki sighs. He reaches out and touches the side of Jonghyun’s head gently, looking at him with quiet eyes. “I won’t be good for you,” he says. “You should find someone else – someone better.”

“What?” Jonghyun says, confused. It’s not the answer he expected, and he doesn’t understand what Jinki is trying to say. “There’s no one better than you!”

“I’m the Alpha,” Jinki says. “Do you realize what that means? I’m bound to the pack for life – It’ll always come first, it’ll always be my responsibility to carry.”

“That doesn’t matter to me!”

“It should matter, Jonghyun! Don’t you understand?” Jinki says. “You deserve more than what I could give you. You deserve someone who won’t have to put the pack’s well-being over you, to carry burdens that shouldn’t be yours to bear – I’ve seen what it’s done to mated pairs – and it’s not… fair for you to be with someone like that.”

“Stop acting like you know what’s good for me!” Jonghyun says fiercely, but tears still well up in his eyes. “I told you – I’m not a kid anymore, hyung. So, please, for once, look at the me in front of you and don’t pull away.”

Jinki is quiet, but he doesn’t pull away. Jonghyun takes the chance, rising up on his toes and kissing him. He puts everything he feels into that kiss, every longing and desire and every inch of the love that’s been growing ever since he first met Jinki when he was ten-years-old. He doesn’t know what to expect in return, because at first Jinki’s lips are just still against his, and all Jonghyun can do is wait.

His heart leaps when Jinki kisses him back, hands coming up to his hips to pull him closer. It’s different from the kiss at the river – It’s just as intense but more tender, and the way Jinki is holding him makes him feel like every one of his feelings are reciprocated.

When the kiss breaks, Jonghyun keeps his eyes closed even afterwards, letting the moment last a little longer. Jinki’s staring when he finally opens them, watching him with a mix of regret and longing. There has to be a way for Jinki to stop looking at him like that.

“The mating ceremony is next month,” Jonghyun says. “I’ll be standing in the circle.”

Jinki thumbs the curve of Jonghyun’s cheek and lets out another quiet sigh. “Jonghyun…”

“You can’t stop me,” Jonghyun says, lifting his chin defiantly. He’s not going to back down, no matter what Jinki says or thinks what’s best for him. He steps away before Jinki can try to convince him otherwise.

Jinki shakes his head. “Why are you so stubborn?” he asks quietly. Jonghyun doesn’t know if it’s directed at him, or if Jinki’s just talking to himself, but he takes the chance to finally say the truth out loud.

“Because I love you,” he says. The words catch Jinki by surprise, eyes widening in the dark.

He leaves Jinki alone with those words as he goes upstairs, crawling into his bed. He doesn’t hear Jinki come up before he finally manages to fall asleep.

That night, he dreams of Jinki.

  


  
  
The ceremony always starts at night, when the moon is fullest and brightest. Legend says that’s how the first pair mated – in the darkness and on a bed of grass beneath the stars. It’s been three months since Jinki became the pack’s Alpha, and tradition demands he choose his mate before the night ends.

The entire pack is out, buzzing in anticipation, filling up the grassy field. Jinki’s father and the pack elders are the only ones in their wolf form while Jinki stands at the center. The ritual calls for Jinki to remain there until he chooses a mate, and once he does, there will be the chase, and finally, the claiming.

Jinki is bare and beautiful, the moonlight on his skin and the gold flecks in his eyes glowing bright. He looks around at the members of the pack, eyes lingering for a second on Jonghyun before turning away.

It’s been that way for the past month – Jonghyun can’t count the never of times he’s caught Jinki staring at him, a quiet and contemplative look from across the room. It’s usually gone as quickly as it came, but at least Jinki isn’t ignoring him anymore. He’s thinking about him – Jonghyun just wished he knew what his thoughts were.

There’s been lots of chatter in the house in days approaching the mating ceremony. Rumors and speculations on who would step forward to contend to be Jinki’s mate and who Jinki would choose; all of it has left Jonghyun on edge, keeping him up for nights on end.

But there’s no more time to linger on the possibilities: Suddenly a loud howl echoes throughout the night, the call to begin the choosing. Jonghyun’s heart pounds loudly at the howl, the signal for every wolf with interest in becoming Jinki’s mate to step forward. There’s so many – ten, at least – both male and female, falling in place around Jinki in a large circle.

Jonghyun joins them and the second he does, Jinki’s eyes snap onto him. The pack breaks out into a loud hum of whispers too: Jonghyun is the youngest amongst the suitors, the only one not raised in the pack since birth. It’s not unexpected that Jonghyun has taken a place in the circle, but it’s the question of whether he would be chosen amongst the other suitors – almost all of whom are older, stronger, more beautiful than Jonghyun.

But Jonghyun squares his shoulders and stands tall. More than any of them, Jonghyun is sure. He wants Jinki.

Jonghyun faintly hears the second, throaty howl over the pounding of his heart, binding Jinki to the circle until he chooses one of the wolves surrounding him. But Jinki is still watching him, and the world suddenly seems to shift until there’s only two of them, staring at each across the grassy field with the moonlight shining behind them.

A forceful nudge from Jinki’s father breaks their connection, pushing Jinki to walk the circuit of suitors. Each one bows their head and says their name as Jinki passes by them, trying to prove their worth as Jinki’s mate. Jinki lingers at a few of them, exchanging quiet looks or a few words, and Jonghyun’s heart stops every time. But Jinki always leaves them and moves onto the wolf beside them.

It feels like it takes years for Jinki to finally reach him. Jinki approaches him slowly, until he’s close enough to touch – but he doesn’t because touching would mean choosing, and Jinki still looks unsure. Instead, he tilts his head to the side and gives Jonghyun a quiet look.

“I told you that night – if you choose to be with me, it won’t be an easy life,” he says. “And still… you’re here.”

“I told you I would be,” Jonghyun says. “Did you really doubt me?”

Jinki shakes his head. “Part of me hoped you would come to your senses and change your mind.”

Jonghyun swallows down the lump in his throat. “And the other part…?”

Jinki takes a bold step closer, the distance between becoming so small that they can feel each other’s heat. “I wanted you here,” he says softly.

Jonghyun’s heart is pounding so fast he feels that it might explode. He steps forward to close the distance between them entirely. “Then make me yours.”

Jinki runs his thumb across Jonghyun’s jaw, a soft caress that makes the field erupt into a quiet buzz of surprise. Jonghyun hears the whispers, sees the others in the circle back away to rejoin the pack, feels the stares from the pack elders standing just behind them. It’s overwhelming.

But Jinki doesn’t pay attention to any of them. His gaze is fixed on Jonghyun, like he’s the only thing that matters. “You’re sure?” he asks quietly. “This is what you want?”

He’s tired of Jinki questioning him. “Yes,” he says. He’s suddenly blinking back tears, desperation and impatience building up inside of him. “Please, Jinki. Don’t make me wait any longer.” 

At that, Jinki’s grip on Jonghyun tightens and Jonghyun’s eyes go wide. But instinct takes over and he knows what it means: He tilts his head to the side, baring his neck in invitation. Jinki’s eyes burn bright as he leans forward, gently scraping his teeth across the skin there – and that’s all it takes for Jinki to formally declare his choice to the pack.

When Jinki pulls back, he’s smiling and Jonghyun smiles too as the elders let out the third and final howl, marking the end of the choosing and the time for the chase. Jonghyun takes off for the woods first. Tradition says Jinki must catch Jonghyun first before he can claim him as his mate, and Jonghyun decides to give himself a head start. But behind him, he can hear the thunder of Jinki’s pursuit, the billow of the wind as Jinki changes along with him – muscles and bones shifting until the both of them are running as wolves.

Jonghyun knows the forest just as well as Jinki does, cutting in-between trees and down the familiar mossy paths. But Jinki is faster: He catches Jonghyun at the river, pushing him down onto the bed of grass with a soft growl. Jonghyun submits, licking Jinki’s snout before changing back, urging Jinki to do the same. When they’re both human again, Jinki kisses him at once – hard and deep, licking into his mouth with such ferocity Jonghyun feels his head spin.

Jonghyun tries to keep up, but Jinki’s moving so fast he doesn’t know how. Jinki senses it, because he pulls back to break the kiss, looking down at Jonghyun with glowing eyes.

“Hey,” he says. “You can breathe, you know.” His lips are pulled up into a teasing smile, calming Jonghyun’s racing heart.

Jonghyun flushes, releasing a large rush of air. “Sorry, I just. I’m still – I mean, part of me didn’t think you would ever–”

“Claim you?” 

Jonghyun nods breathlessly. “Yes.”

Jinki goes quiet, the way he always does when he’s thinking deeply, thumb tracing the curve of Jonghyun’s hip. “I was never sure that I should,” he admits. “I still don’t. But I’ve… wanted this for a long time.” His hands roam wildly over Jonghyun’s skin, like he can’t get enough. Jonghyun’s heart races at the thought that Jinki had thought about him too, thought about wanting to hold him, kiss him, make love to him. The thoughts alone makes heat in the belly turn into a blazing fire.

Suddenly, Jinki’s hand still and he looks down at Jonghyun again with dark eyes. Jonghyun panics – is Jinki changing his mind? – but the fear dissipates when Jinki’s fingers run through his hair gently, looking concerned.

“Is this your first time?” Jinki asks quietly. “You’ve never…”

Jonghyun shakes his head. “No. It’s only ever been you. I didn’t want anyone else.”

The corner of Jinki’s mouth quirks up into a beautiful smile, the moonlight bathing his bare skin in a warm glow.

“I’m going to do this right later,” Jinki says, mouthing along Jonghyun’s jaw. “I’ll kiss and touch every part of you, make sure every inch of you is covered in my scent.”

Jonghyun shivers and nods eagerly. He knows what Jinki means. Right now, it’s only about fucking in the barest sense possible, the final steps in establishing the claim bond between them. Still, Jinki is gentle, working Jonghyun open slowly despite the slickness in his hole. Jinki’s lips and teeth mark the skin of his stomach to his hip and down to soft flesh of his inner thigh, a distraction as he stretches Jonghyun wider. When he’s three fingers deep, Jonghyun is shaking in desperation.

“Jinki,” Jonghyun breathes. “Please. I want you now.”

Jinki stares for a long second before he nods hastily, lining up his cock and pushing in slow. Jonghyun gasps at the stretch, Jinki’s cock reaching deeper inside himself than his own fingers ever could, and it feels incredible – better than fantasy he’s had in heat, because Jinki is real and warm, covering him in so much heat he feels like he’s drowning in it.

When Jinki finally bottoms out, he hears Jinki’s fingers dig into the dirt beside his head, breathing hard as he tries to remain still long enough to let Jonghyun adjust. He’s being careful, desperately trying to stay in control, his brows straining from the effort.

Jonghyun doesn’t want that. He spreads his legs wider and instinctively rolls his hips down to push Jinki deeper inside him.

Jinki groans in surprise, looking down at Jonghyun with wide eyes, golden irises blown jagged and wild – a telltale sign his control is quickly starting to slip.

Jonghyun offers a cheeky half-smile before licking at the corner of Jinki’s mouth. “I won’t break, hyung,” he says. “I’ve wanted this for a long time too.” 

The implication in his words is heavy, and it makes Jinki growl low in his throat. Suddenly, his hands firmly grip Jonghyun’s hips and he starts thrusting. He quickly builds up to deeper strokes – fast pushes in and long drags out, each one rocking Jonghyun down to his core.

He reaches up to grasp the back of Jinki’s neck, pull him down to meet him in a kiss that’s more tongue than anything. But Jinki quickly licks past his mouth and kisses down to the spot where Jonghyun’s shoulder meets his neck. Jinki’s teeth gently scrape at the skin there and Jonghyun’s entire body jolts. His heart races even faster when he realizes what’s coming next.

Jinki is going to claim him, bite him and mark him as his mate.

For a moment he feels like he’s back to the night at the river when Jinki first kissed him – but it’s different now. Their bare skin touches everywhere, the only thing between them the thick layer of sweat and dirt.

The pace of Jinki’s thrusts slow and he pulls his lips back the slightest bit. “Are you sure?” he asks again, voice gentle but barely hanging onto the edge of restraint. It sends a shiver chasing down Jonghyun’s spine, but there’s not one piece of doubt in Jonghyun’s mind.

“Yes,” Jonghyun says, nodding and tightening his fingers on Jinki’s back. “I want this. I want to be yours.”

It’s all the permission Jinki seems to need and finally, Jinki’s teeth sink into him. He feels the connection run through him instantly, like a fire igniting through his veins, bonding them together for life. Jonghyun keens loudly, scratching at Jinki’s back because he’s feeling too many sensations at once – the heat of Jinki inside him, thick and pulsing, and the pressure from the bite. It’s a dull pain, overwhelmed by the way his skin starts to warm with a pleasant heat, burning him up from the inside out.

Jinki licks at the mark, tongue dragging across the newly formed ridges in wonder. He hears Jinki mumble his name under his breath, hot and ragged. It’s possessive in a way he’s never heard Jinki say it before, and he shudders from the intensity of it.

He belongs to Jinki now.

Just the thought pushes him closer to the edge, and once Jinki picks up his pace again, it’s impossible not to topple completely over – all it takes is one hard jerk of his hips to make Jonghyun’s vision white out, muffling his scream into Jinki’s shoulder as he comes hard enough to shake uncontrollably in Jinki’s arms.

“_Jinki, Jinki, Jinki_,” he whines, entire body tensing as his release coats both their stomachs. He instinctively squeezes hard around Jinki’s cock to pull him along with him, because somehow he knows he won’t feel complete until Jinki comes too, filling him up.

Jinki’s firm grip on his hips tightens, thrusts becoming more erratic and wild as he fucks Jonghyun open, searching for his own release. Each push in is powerful, and Jonghyun feels himself quake from the force it. 

When Jinki’s climax finally hits, it hits him hard. He grinds it out, cock throbbing deep inside of Jonghyun as he comes. “Fuck, Jonghyun—” he whispers hoarsely, fingers digging deep into Jonghyun’s sides, hard enough to bruise. The pulses of heat inside him rocks Jonghyun down to his core, until he’s left completely numb and boneless on the ground beneath him.

He feels like he’s floating as he stares up at the moon, the weight of Jinki on top of him and inside him the only thing that keeps him from flying off.

It’s silent as they both catch their breath, the cool night air quickly drying the sweat on their skin. When Jinki pulls out of him slowly, Jonghyun scrunches his nose at the open feeling left behind, the slickness running down his legs. But he revels in it at the same time – this feeling afterwards means it’s real and it really did happen. It’s not a dream.

Jinki falls back onto the grass, immediately pulling Jonghyun towards him. He kisses Jonghyun as soon as he’s close, soft and deep.

Jinki looks over him gently. “Do you feel alright?” he says, sounding so tender that Jonghyun’s heart flutters. “Towards the end, I… wasn’t exactly in control.” He looks a mildly ashamed, inspecting the purpling marks on Jonghyun’s hips with a frown.

Jonghyun shakes his head with a smile. “It was perfect,” he says honestly, kissing the corner of Jinki’s mouth. He runs his fingertips along the curve of Jinki’s face, wanting to put all of it into memory. Jinki was perfect – none of his dreams could even compare to the reality of how unbelievable Jinki was. 

His fingers pause for moment, suddenly caught in a nervous thought. “Was I… good too?” he asks, biting his lip and looking up anxiously.

“Yes,” Jinki replies immediately. He pushes Jonghyun’s hair back so he can kiss his forehead. “So good. I can’t get enough of you.” There’s still an edge of want in his voice, a flicker of heat despite their mutual exhaustion.

Jonghyun’s cheeks go pink from the praise, feeling warm. He presses closer against Jinki, enough that he can hear Jinki’s heart thrumming in his ribcage, feel the sweat and heat on Jinki’s skin. But it’s more than that – it’s like a pulsing line has been drawn between them.

“I can… feel you,” Jonghyun says in awe, eyes growing wide. “You’re happy. I can… feel that you’re happy.” It must be the claim bond. He knows it gives them a connection to their mate’s emotions, but he never expected it to be this strong – Jinki’s warmth and happiness feels like it’s his own, like it’s a part of himself.

Jinki hums softly, stroking Jonghyun’s side. “I am happy.”

Jonghyun’s heart swells at the words, but it also leaves him with lingering questions. “Then… why did you push me away for so long?”

Jinki sighs. “I didn’t think it was fair for me to try and claim you – not when I have to carry so much responsibility, and… you’re young–”

“I’m not that much younger than you,” Jonghyun argues.

“Young enough,” Jinki says. “I wanted you to be sure this is the life you wanted. It’s not easy being the mate of the Alpha – you’re tied to pack just as much as I am. It can be a huge burden.”

“I love the pack,” Jonghyun says. The pack is his home – his sister, his mother, his friends – and Jinki has always been in the center of it. Jinki is his home.

“I know. But it’s hard to live that way if you want something more, if you don’t want to be burdened with the responsibilities that come with being the mate of the Alpha – if you want a mate that can give you the attention you deserve. It’s not an easy life to live. My mom left because of it.”

“I’d never leave you,” Jonghyun says firmly, curling his fingers around Jinki’s waist. “I’ve never wanted anything but to be by your side.”

Jinki’s eyes soften. “You’ll get lonely sometimes,” he says. “The pack will always take up a lot of my time… There will always be things I have to do, other people I’ll need to take care of… but I promise I won’t let you suffer.” He pauses, looking down to meet Jonghyun’s gaze. “Will that be enough for you?”

“It’s always been enough,” Jonghyun says. “I love you.”

Jinki smiles, looking pleased. “Good,” he says, leaning down to kiss the claim mark on Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Because you’re mine now.”

  
  
Jonghyun sleeps in Jinki’s bed every night now. The sheets linger with the perfect mix of their scents, and it’s even stronger now that Jinki is back home. He’s curled tight around Jonghyun, arms wrapped around him and he hasn’t let go since he returned late last night. When Jinki crawled into bed Jonghyun was half-asleep, too groggy to give any sort of greeting other than a sloppy kiss to the cheek and a tired “I missed you.”

Jinki had left to deal with a group of rogue wolves encroaching on their land. Jonghyun usually stayed behind when Jinki made trips, to keep watch over the house and the others who stayed behind. He’s the one Jinki trusts the most to protect the pack while Jinki is gone. 

But their separation had been as long as three weeks this time and towards the end Jonghyun was growing increasingly restless – He didn’t like being apart for so long, and he decided that when Jinki returned he would demand Jinki to take him along next time.

The house is quiet this morning, allowing the two of them to sleep in later than usual. He wriggles around in Jinki’s arms until he’s facing him, staring at Jinki’s sleeping face fondly. He can see the lines of exhaustion in his face, the growing tiredness and fatigue. He traces his finger lightly down the bridge of Jinki’s nose to the cusp of his full lips. He doesn’t want to wake Jinki up, wanting him to catch up on as much sleep as possible. He knows Jinki never gets enough.

Still, he leans forward to give a soft kiss on the cheek, lips lingering as Jinki’s eyelids flutter. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jonghyun says. He runs his fingers through Jinki’s hair gently, trying to soothe him back into sleep. “Go back to sleep.”

“It’s all right…” Jinki mumbles, his voice rough and scratchy. He lets his eyes fall completely shut again but shifts closer so the two of them are pressed warmly against one another.

Jinki’s fingers tangle into the hair on the base of Jonghyun’s neck, his thumbing stroking the claim mark absently. “How was everything while I was gone?” he asks. “Did you have any trouble?”

Jonghyun shakes his head. “No. It was pretty quiet.” He pauses, thinking over his next words carefully. “Soojung is pregnant.”

Jinki’s finally opens both eyes. “Really?” he says in surprise. “How’s Jongin?”

“He was shocked at first – Taemin had to throw a bucket of cold water on him – but now he’ll brag to anyone who will listen.” Jonghyun laughs. “Soojung thinks the baby will be a girl.”

“How can she tell already?”

Jonghyun shrugs. “It’s a feeling, I guess. Mother’s intuition.”

“Hm. Well, another pup in the house,” Jinki says with a fond smile. “That’ll definitely keep things exciting around here.” He runs his thumb across the top of Jonghyun’s cheek, his gaze warm. “We’ll join the excitement too someday.”

Jonghyun smiles back. He knows they will, and he’s waiting for that day, when they’ll have one of their own – a healthy child with Jinki’s eyes and smile – a pup the two of them can spoil together. Jonghyun is looking forward to it, building a family with Jinki. His heart flutters just from the thought.

But right now, Jonghyun is happy. Their bed is nice with just the two of them, and he likes being the only one that needs Jinki’s attention when they’re alone together. He presses closer against Jinki, nuzzling his nose into his collarbones and taking a deep breath of his scent. It’s the same, the scent of the forest and spring rain – and it makes him feel safe and warm, like it’s always done since the day they first met.

Jonghyun is at home when he’s in Jinki’s arms, and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.


End file.
